♥️ Relationship Real Talk: 5 Things You Should Know

The real "C"-crets behind a thriving relationship.

Nov 06, 2024

Two days ago, I celebrated my second wedding anniversary, dressed in sweatpants and surrounded by small children. Not exactly the Pinterest-perfect anniversary, but I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.

(And don’t worry, we did go on an anniversary trip last weekend which I’ll share more on later!) ◡̈

It got me thinking about what makes a relationship last, and the insights I’ve gained over the years that have helped me build a strong and healthy partnership. These are things I’d want my kids to know someday, and what I’d happily share with friends.

Before you think two years of marriage isn’t a long time, I get it—it’s still early. But just to give you some context: I’ve been with my husband since 2019, officially exclusive in 2020, and married in 2022. And even before that, I’ve spent some time reading relationship books and listening to advice through podcasts and videos to better understand what makes relationships work.

So, here are five things I've learned that can help make any romantic relationship ✨THRIVE✨

1 / COMPATIBILITY

I came across a quote in a video recently that really struck me:

Love is only half the battle. The other half is compatibility. And love and compatibility are not the same thing. And you can’t conflate the two.

This really resonated because in observing relationships around me, I've seen two truths: you can be compatible with someone you're not in love with, and you can be in love with someone you're not compatible with. Having both is essential.

Love is an emotion that can fluctuate, but compatibility provides a solid foundation. It's important to ask yourself questions like: Is this person good for me? Do they support my goals? Do we share the same values and vision for life? Do I even like them? These questions can help determine if someone is worth pursuing a deeper relationship with.

2 / COMMUNICATION

On a Reddit thread I read a while ago, someone described the struggle of poor communication perfectly:

It’s like wandering around in a dark room looking for the light switch.

I believe effective communication is the key to success in a partnership because it allows you to understand your partner’s thoughts, emotions, and needs. It’s basically a roadmap to understanding who they are.

Also, remember that no relationship is perfect. Just yesterday, I failed to communicate with my husband when I spent too long at the grocery store while he dealt with our crying kids in the car. But learning from these moments is how we grow and get better 🫶🏼

3 / COLLABORATION

And notice I didn’t use the word: compromise.

While compromise often means someone has to give something up, collaboration is about working together to achieve a goal that meets both partners' needs. It’s not about sacrifice but finding a solution that works for everyone.

Think of how brands and influencers collaborate—they find ways to create something that benefits both parties, without either feeling like they’ve lost something. The same mindset can be applied to relationships. Aim to collaborate with your partner and find a win-win situation for everyone.

4 / CONNECTION

Here’s a reality check: the honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever.

It’s easy to fall into routines and forget to nurture the connection that brought you together in the first place—especially after kids. Suddenly, you’re more like roommates than romantic partners. But staying connected is vital, and it takes effort. Even small gestures can make a difference.

Try doing something new together, something you’ve BOTH never done before. Whether it’s skydiving or taking a cooking class. Or simply surprise your partner with their favorite snack or a thoughtful note. The little things count, and keeping that spark alive takes intentional effort.

5 / CONFIDENCE (aka Trust)

Building confidence in your relationship requires open and honest communication (see tip 2). It’s the foundation of any relationship whether it’s platonic or romantic. Having confidence in them means having faith in their word's or actions. I especially love this quote from a post by The Gottman Institute:

Trust is built in the little moments of everyday life, not with grand gestures twice a year.

It’s the small things! Remembering something important, being a listening ear during a tough day, or simply being present. Trust isn’t something that can be earned overnight, but rather a steady collection of moments that show you can count on each other.

Relationships are a journey, and these insights have helped me along the way. I’d love to know: which of these resonates most with you? Or is there something else that’s been a game-changer for you? Share in the comments!

Her Second Brain

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